Okay, so our lead pastor talked a little bit Sunday about being open and honest. Being real. Completely and utterly real. Taking off the mask. Why is it that we leave the mask on? I know for me it is because I have this image that I want to keep. I want to look like I have it all together. I am the worship pastor for a cutting edge church that is one of the fastest growing churches on the east coast. Shouldn’t I be perfect? Yeah right!

I am taking my mask off today. For the last week God has been doing some serious work on my heart and my mind. At times this week I have cried. At times I have told my best friends that I think I am having a breakdown. I am having anxiety attacks left and right. I have struggled with the importance of what I do as a lead worshiper. I mean isn’t what I do just singing and playing guitar? Sure a few hundred of you will raise your hands and worship, but after you go home, and I go home, is anyone different? I struggle with this huge passion and desire to do something everyday that will outlive me and last for eternity.

Let me switch gears for a minute. This morning I took a different route to the office. It’s the way I used to go before I got hooked on Dunkin Donuts Ice Carmel Lattes. Today I didn’t get one so I went the old way to work. I stopped at the 7-Eleven I used to go to quite a bit. I picked up an energy drink and saw Mike, a guy that works at the 7-11. “Morning Mike” I said as I walked in the door. His face lit up as he remembered me. He said “It’s been a while since I have seen you. Where you been?” I used to come in and say hello to him every morning. He never knew my name or anything else other than the fact that I like energy drinks at 6 am on Sunday mornings. I used to get them every Sunday morning. He remembered me. So I stopped and told him why I haven’t been coming in anymore. I confessed my new found addiction of ice lattes. I reached out my hand to his and said “Mike, I have seen you a million times and I don’t think we’ve ever formally met, my name is Jeff.” It was good to officially meet him.

As I drove off I felt like I had been given a shot in my arm of something good. In that moment I was not on stage or performing or doing anything else. I was living. I was just a guy who cared about the 7 Eleven  guy. Now at 3:00pm I feel like what happened in 7 Eleven this morning was the most important thing I have done today. Please don’t get me wrong or think that I don’t realize the impact that the worship ministry has at Fellowship. I do get that. And I would not want to do anything else anywhere else.  I do understand that what I do is important. But the way I am wired is to care about personal growth in people. I am wired to be compassionate with those whom other people would not necessarily care about. That’s just the way God has made me. And knowing that I am impacting the 7 Eleven clerk just by speaking to him, or greeting him makes me feel good. I am ready to begin to lessen my latte intake and swing by to try to reach out to Mike more. I know that I have invited him to church but because of work he has not been able to make it. But God reminded me today that I have a divine purpose outside of Fellowship Church. Away from our kickin’ band and worship times. I have purpose. And so do you. Whether you preach on Sundays or sit in the audience. God has a purpose for you. Sometimes he needs to put pressure on us to get our attention. But I would rather be pounded on for a season and know my purpose than to never face anything difficult and just float through life. So yeah, I am still in this season. But yeah, I know my purpose!