For those of you who know me, you may have noticed that I have tried to keep a lower profile with social media. The things I have posted have been verses, songs, and sports related. Maybe because I haven’t wanted to answer questions. Maybe because I fear being judged. Maybe because taking my foot off the gas for a while is what I have needed.
Last Sunday October 6th was my last day at Sunnybrook Community Church due to theological differences. I know that is a broad reason but that really is the heart of the issue. I have had people speculate and question what else it could have been. The honest truth is this. Sunnybrook is an incredible church and is doing amazing things. They are reaching people, they are growing, they are serving the lowly, they are loving people far from God. They are a great church and I will forever love the people and staff there. Since the very first day I have known that we were not yoked together for the long hall. We fall in different places on some issues and that is okay. Neither they or I are right or wrong and although most everyone seeks me out wanting to place blame on something or someone, the truth is there is no one to blame.
It is was it is. God has been moving us along for quite some time and although we do not know where that will take us, we are trusting that God is in complete control. He is sovereign! I believe that! The hard part is now living that out day in and day out when we cannot see what is around the corner.
This morning I was listening to a song on repeat. It’s not a worship song or even a Christian song. I can hear the gasps from some already. It’s a song called “Wake me up” by Avicii.
For most of us when trials come we want to wake up after all the hard things are over. We want to skip the waiting. We want to bypass the pain. We want to speak with anger. We want to be defended. We want to fast forward through it all. Read these lyrics and see if they do not ring true.
Feeling my way through the darkness
Guided by a beating heart
I can’t tell where the journey will end
But I know where to start
So wake me up when it’s all over
When I’m wiser and I’m older
All this time I was finding myself
And I didn’t know I was lost
During this season of my life I am making the decision to not just get through it. As much as I would love to wake up tomorrow and be in a new place of ministry I do not want to miss out on the lessons God has for me in the waiting. Am I tired? Yes! Is it painful? More than you know! Am I scared? I’m afraid so. (no pun intended) I hate these circumstances with every piece of human nature that I posses. But I cling to them knowing that it will produce endurance among other things. I love what Romans 5 3-4 says in The Message
There’s more to come: We continue to shout our praise even when we’re hemmed in with troubles, because we know how troubles can develop passionate patience in us, and how that patience in turn forges the tempered steel of virtue, keeping us alert for whatever God will do next. In alert expectancy such as this, we’re never left feeling shortchanged. Quite the contrary—we can’t round up enough containers to hold everything God generously pours into our lives through the Holy Spirit!
I may not know where God is leading us but I am determined to live in expectancy that we will soon be able to look back and be in awe of the journey we have travelled.